The last year of my youth.

I had just graduated art school and living at my girlfriend's place in Brooklyn Heights.  I was sending out resumes to every company I could find and figured I should just get a part-time job at Banana Republic to help pay the bills.  Our relationship was a bit scattered.  Living together brought out the worst in us.  I spent half of the day stuffing envelopes with resumes and the other half playing street fighter on my xbox.

I had an interview at Artisan for an intern position that would lead to a script reading gig which failed to materialize.  I also interviewed at a tape house where I would spend the day making dubs and digitizing footage.  Luckily, I had failed that interview as well.  I eventually got an apprentice job at a post-production house where I would work for the next five years and where I would eventually start my career as a video editor.

While at work, I would post videos online of films I had done in school.  For the entirety of my life thus far, I wanted to be a film director.  I wanted to make movies.  Movies that mass amounts of people would want to go watch.  I wanted to show at Sundance and thought Miramax was going to buy the film.  I would then go on to direct Gwyneth Paltrow and make a boat load of cash.

I always considered myself a storyteller.  I even wrote a script after graduating school but now that I think about it, it seems too lynchian even for David's taste.  I never had the discipline to hone my craft.  A little too passive to be the passionate director who sells his own blood to finance his films.  Never really had the guts to just put everything out there and give it all I had.  I always felt a little restraint.

I felt comfortable at work, with my career and with my life.  I had met someone who I wanted to eventually marry, settle down with.  My weekends were filled with booze and drugs and I was just happy to be in New York, enjoying the moment.

My girlfriend and I would hole up in my room smoking and drinking coffee, watching Jim Jarmusch films.  Along with my roommate, we would go on excursions through the outer reaches of Brooklyn to return our cablevision convertor box and take extra long detours to Boston.

We walked along the Brooklyn Heights promenade, snapping 120 film with her seagull, and I using a holga to capture our life moments.

The thought of becoming this star director just sort of left me but I always wanted to make movies and that will never change.

When I was 22, I thought I had everything figured out.  If I could travel back in time, there would be so many things I would tell myself, but I would have done it all the same.  I didn't listen to anybody and sure as hell wouldn't have listened to my future self.

The little moments are what we live for.  It instantaneously hits all of your senses and your emotions are overwhelmed.  I think about my life thus far and I think about when I was 22.